


A Several Face Reveal

by ClownBoy



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: B), Oneshot, every comic gimmick ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 14:04:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17899505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClownBoy/pseuds/ClownBoy
Summary: Another rogues meeting in Gotham seemed professional, but with so many faces at large, one reveal might be unexpected... or two.  Or five.





	A Several Face Reveal

The ride was bumpy. Carpooling was Ivy's idea.  


"Harley: track record."  


"Twenty-three this month, Mr. J!"  


"No, no, not casualties! Oswald's scheduling."  


She shook her head. "Too early, Flan Man."  


Riddler's knuckles were white on his cane. "I'm going to be sick."  


Joker smiled. "Let's see it!"  


"HURL! HURL! HURL!"  


"TURN RIGHT, HARLEY! TURN RIGHT! WE'RE HERE!"  


With a screeching halt, Ivy offering a herbal remedy to the nausea, and Harley opening the trunk to a surprisingly intact Selina Kyle, the five of them left the streetlights.  


The old building had some semblance of once being an auditorium, helped by the bird's-eye view Penguin had on everyone as they took their seats. Only reaching the pulpit with the help of a box, the bird quieted the crowd with a few taps from his umbrella. "Friends and foes... We gather here tonight under good terms, for tonight! We discuss our global, nay, UNIVERSAL outreach!"  


The murmurs became groans.  


"Our attention tonight goes towards relations outside Gotham City, those that can be used to our decided advantage, hweh?"  


Several efforts to avoid eye contact such as checking the time and adjusting masks were enacted.  


Finally, a hand. "I've got connections in Metropolis! Pick me!"  


"Do tell, Miss Quinn."  


"Doctor- And we really got a live one is what I'm sayin'."  


Riddler looked to Waylon for answers.  


Waylon shrugged.  


"Livewire! Me and hers is pals, Oz. For the record. Central City? Covered! You're welcome." She slouched back.  


"I also took part in the collaboration, Oswald. I do second her being an impressive accomplace."  


Penguin scribbled on his clipboard. "Thank you, Isley. Yes, Riddler?"  


"I did have my brush in with Toyman, also. In Metropolis."  


"Very good."  


"LEX LUTHOR!"  


"Did you have a word to add, Mr. Joker?"  


"YES! DESPITE MY BEST EFFORTS, LEXY AND I ARE ONLY FRIENDS. HE LET ME SEE THE BOY IN BLUE PERSONALLY. LUTHY'S GOT AN ACUTE INTEREST, I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH."  


"There is no need to yell," He waved a gloved flipper, still writing. "You're perfectly audible."  


"AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!"  


The Penguin looked up. "Central City, then?"  


The groans returned.  


"Come again, my DEAR associates!?"  


"You think WE'VE got clowns? Central City? Mr. Freeze's understudy, no risk of death in the heat by the way. Ragdoll with his frankly appropriative hairstyle, the TRICKster? Are you kidding me? And don't even get me started on Gorilla Grodd. On his SMELL. GOD. And their best villain? Their hero who went too fast and came back... backwards? Why's he yellow? Why is he yellow and not green? What the f-"  


"THANK YOU, EDWARD. But do we have any connections among Mr. Flash's rogue gallery?"  


"Don't do him the honor. He's a putz. And, yeah, I worked with Killer Frost and she ain't half bad! Nice lady when she's not giving the... cold shoulder."  


Joker gave her high five, expressionless.  


Penguin nodded as he wrote. "Excellent, excellent. I'm astounded by our progression," he looked up, "though willing to hear others."  


"Heh." Joker stared into Freeze's suit, fixing his lipstick. "Anyone got an in with Titano?"  


"The wee thing even speak our human language?"  


"Do you?"  


Mad Hatter gasped. "You want me to leave a mark on ya, just say so, ya five A.M. trolley!"  


"Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Please... and let us think bigger!" His umbrella hit the ceiling.  


"Don't get much bigger than Titano."  


Catwoman nudged Harley.  


Ivy's eyebrows raised. "Yes, Oswald. Please clarify."  


Harley gasped. "ALIENS."  


Burlap and straw crunched as Scarecrow shook his head. "If those lanterns come anywhere NEAR my lab again, by George, I will SHOW them the force of will."  


Several heads turned.  


The pen stopped. "But have you communed with his adversaries?"  


"Naw, the boys are pretty quick in and out. Damages the equipment, mind you."  


"Well understood. And terribly sorry, Dr. Crane."  


"'s'all right."  


"WHY'S HE GET A 'DOCTOR?'"  


"Conduct, Dr. Quinzel."  


"There it is!" Harley shot finger guns of approval.  


"I WILL KEEP IT REAL WITH YOU, OZZY. I DID SOME TIME ON APOKOLIPS AND DARKSEID MADE IT CLEAR I WASN'T WELCOME BACK."  


"Volume..."  


Joker gave a thumbs up.  


Penguin scanned the room.  


Riddler held up a finger. "Are we talking Kryptonians? Czarnians? Do AI count?"  


"AIs."  


"SHUT UP, JOKER."  


"ANYWHERE!" Penguin took a deep breath. "We are counting anyone or anything extraterrestrial. I apologize for thinking a single detail could go without SAYING."  


The door opened with a crack. Two-Face shuffled in followed by...  


"Forgive me for our lack of punctuality, Gentlemen. The coin flips made every turn just a TOUCH difficult. I-"  


Cobblepot did see himself on the stage, but never like this.  


"Who ar-"  


Harley stood up. "Alright, one of you's Clayface. Out with it."  


Stage Cobblepot raised his hands.  


"No, I'm serious." She snapped. "Both of you. Here."  


Standing side by side, stage Cobblepot quickly became a sloppy caricature."  


"Basil? You're sloppy."  


Joker piped up. "I know." He strided over to stage Penguin, lifting off a mask to reveal...  


"Miss me, Harley Girl?" He stood. "My knees are killing me!"  


Two Jokers high-fived.  


"You've never looked better, Karlo!"  


"You flatter me, clown. Hoo hoo!"  


"And that voice! It's like looking in a mirror! Too bad-"  


The Joker in Penguin's clothes pulled off the Joker mask.  


"TWO-FACE?!"  


Riddler leapt from his seat. "STOP! Stop, this is getting old."  


Two-Face pulled off a corset under the purple suit. "Is it, though?"  


The late Two-Face pulled off his scar prosthesis.  


Riddler took a double take. "Clar-Clark Kent?"  


Batman rolled in from backstage. "This ends now."  


Joker laughed. "Oh my Grodd, Basil! You're really gonna end this thing with the BATsuit from two years ago? Like that'll fool anybody!" His laughter continued. Otherwise, the room was still.  


Blue and red lights flashed outside. In his hysteria, Joker was the easiest to cuff.  


"Wait-wait, Bats? What, is it wash day?"  


Silence as they headed to the door.  


"I mean, it's not a BAD suit, per se. You look good by the way. You lost weight? Gained muscle?"  


Despite Scarecrow's threats and Riddler's technicalities on who was who's hostage, the whole of the room was in the backs of police cars within the hour.  


"Looks like a double- triple-crossing plot, eh, Batman?"  


"Something like that, Jim. Thank you for your help."  


"No, no. Couldn't have done it without you, Batman. Any updates on that Clayface?"  


"Still at large. With luck, some leads should arise-"  


Jim was gone. Faintly... faintly, Batman swore he saw sand wash down the storm drain. Oh, well. Nothing grappling away can't momentarily numb the fear of.


End file.
